As parents, we’re horrified by the denial of health care to trans children that’s being imposed on families and communities across this country right now.
Through President Trump’s executive orders and harsh anti-trans laws in different states, policy makers are making it a crime to provide for trans kids’ medical needs. That’s sickening. We’re especially outraged that the people leading these attacks are often doing so in the name of “parents’ rights.”
Our children aren’t transgender, but we want to be clear: These attacks don’t speak for us.
Like all parents, we feel deeply what it means to care for our kids’ health. We remember how scary it was the first times they had fevers or broken bones. When our kids are hurting or afraid, we’ve worked to comfort them even when we feel afraid ourselves.
We know the anxiety our kids may have — or that we have as parents — in anticipation of a doctor’s visit. We also know the relief and gratitude of a visit that goes well, especially when we trust that we have competent health professionals to collaborate with.
We’ve never had to consider the possibility that powerful political forces could compel our children’s doctors not to provide the care that they determine to be in our children’s best interest, based on their professional judgment.
Yet that’s exactly what these politicians are doing to families with trans children right now. Age-appropriate gender-affirming care — as determined by kids, their families, and health professionals — is the standard of care that’s universally endorsed for trans kids by reputable medical organizations.
Access to this care, which lawmakers and the president are targeting so aggressively, can be a matter of life and death. We’re appalled that these officials are demonizing trans kids, their families, and health professionals in their attempts to deny it.
This is bullying in its most repulsive form: powerful men targeting vulnerable children, all with the full weight of the law. And just like we teach our kids, if bullies aren’t challenged, they feel emboldened to target other vulnerable people.
We urge any parents of cis-gender children who think these attacks on trans children don’t impact their own families to consider what this could mean. Your own children could be targeted in the near future, based on some other hateful ideology conjured up by the bullies.
As disgusted as we are by these attacks, we’re also heartened by the rising sensibilities about gender and sexuality that we’re witnessing in our kids’ generation. The world they’re creating together is less judgemental, more inclusive, and more affirming than the one we grew up in.
Like so many things with parenting, sometimes this requires learning and adjustment on our part. But instead of fearing this emerging world, we honor it — and find ourselves being transformed by it. A world where trans kids are safe to be who they are is a world that honors the fullness of everybody.
We’re not the exceptions. Surveys show that significant majorities of parents say they would support their children who come out as trans or nonbinary and encourage others to do the same. And vast majorities agree that kids and their parents, not politicians, should get to decide what medical care is appropriate.
We hope that parents everywhere can raise our voices in defense of this more inclusive world against those who seek to destroy it — especially by targeting children and families. As parents, we have a responsibility to protect kids — not just our own, but all the children of our communities.
We already see glimpses of a world where we treat each other with greater compassion and dignity. That world — and its children — deserve to be nurtured and protected.
Khury Petersen-Smith, Basav Sen, and Lindsay Koshgarian are fellows of the Institute for Policy Studies and parents.
