An old adage insists that “all politics is local,” but it’s not true. The rapid advance of the internet age has flipped the adage on its head: these days, all politics is national. With Fox News, CNN, and Facebook blasting their signals into every corner of the once vast and untrammeled wilderness, truly local issues have fallen by the wayside. Now, local races are dominated by the headwinds of national political discourse, and local candidates are incentivized to rhetorically overextend themselves in service of signaling to the tribe. It is a politics of pantomime, with potholes and passing lanes supplanted by abortion and immigration as the issues du jour – in races for offices which will have no jurisdiction over either – and too few candidates speaking to the particulars and prerogatives of the positions they seek.