The limerick. Best served dirty. Idle amusements for trying times.

There once was a slimeball called Lance
Who society now views askance
He cried piteously,
“My blood and my pee
Filled up with those drugs just by chance!”

There was a suave banker from Sachs
Whose sphincter just would not relax
He tried ass massage
And internal lavage
What worked in the end was no tax

There was a young virginal fox
Whom slavering boys propositioned in flocks
Upon losing chastity
She found it a pity 
That you can’t put it back in the box